Boring. Mindless. Unfunny. No, I am not describing the characteristics of an introductory level statistics class; instead, they are the three words that best fit this week’s new release My Best Friend’s Girl. Starring a trifecta of type-casted stars, Dane Cook, Kate Hudson, and Jason Biggs, the film tells the story of two types of asses trying to fall in love.
The first ass, played by Jason Biggs, is a tight-ass who follows the rules and uses polite gestures to impress the love of his life, played by Hudson. The other type, known as the asshole, played by the never astounding Dane Cook, uses graphic sexual advances and insults to talk women into going to bed with him.
How these two asses got involved in a love story is beyond me; however, I will try my best to relay the story the writers attempted to execute. Cook makes money from pathetic guys by going on planned bad dates to purposely disgust the women into going back to their exes. Since Biggs cannot secure a relationship with Hudson, he gets Cook to act like a jerk on a date with her hoping that she will want to return to him.
However, she falls for Cook and Cook falls for her, and the whole situation becomes a crazy love triangle of lust!
At least that is what the film makers hoped. Instead, it becomes a stiff romantic comedy that had me bored out of my mind and more interested in the couple making out in front of me. The film is also wrongly titled, since Cook and Biggs are cousins.
Technically the film is My Best Cousin’s Girlfriend, but I’m guessing there are no songs with this title to steal from.
Dane Cook is no Vince Vaughn, so his rapid fire jokes are not amusing but truly annoying.
The other two are no better in this film, especially when everyone gets sentimental in the tedious last thirty minutes.
To entertain myself in that last half hour, I decided to count different annoyances throughout the film in an attempt to truly compare this film to a statistics class.
Freshmen readers: please take this data, insert it into Excel, compute the relationships, and tell me the percentage of film that was bad.
5:The times they played the song, “My Best Friend’s Girl.”
0:The number of times I laughed out loud.
6: Minutes that Actor Alec Baldwin was on the screen.
2: The number of eyebrows that Jason Biggs shaves off.
45: The minutes it took me to look at my watch because I was so bored.
0: The number of films Dane Cook should ever be in.
My Grade: D