UA-76843172-1

Don't Eat: Watch

The skelator Ms. Angelina Jolie (Pitt?) gives possibly her best, and most skinny, performance in her new movie, The Changeling. I went to the movie expecting an intense drama, instead I got a less graphic version of The Chainsaw Massacre, just involving children.

Jason Butler Harner did an amazing and terrifying job portraying Gordon Northcott, who kidnapped, molested and brutally murdered somewhere around 20 little boys back in the early 1900s.

At the end of the movie, Northcott hangs for his sins. Harner’s eerie portrayal of a deranged man about to be executed was chilling. As he approaches the noose, Northcott starts screaming that he did not touch every step up to the platform, imploring them to let him walk it again. Then, bag over his head, he starts to sing “Silent Night.” I almost jumped out of my skin it was so freaky.

The whole cast did an amazing job, making The Changeling that much more terrifying to watch. Jolie got to scream her pretty little head off, and drag her body devastatingly down a wall until she was almost crouched in the fetal position; which she always does so well. Did I mention how skinny she was? I suppose the budget did not allow for lunch breaks.

Anyway, over-thinness aside, Jolie was amazing. 14-year-old newcomer, Eddie Alderson, proved that it does not take age or experience to be able to act a part worthy of an Oscar. He played Northcott’s unwilling accomplice, giving a heart- wrenching performance which made me want to call his mother and tell her he was too young to be playing this part.

And yes, I do take my movies too seriously.