As a college student I have learned that sometimes reading can be a hassle.
Reading 30 page articles for a Communications class or reading a novel about King Leopold III for a World History class can be a tiresome thing. Sometimes you just want to read for fun, right? Well then, I want to tell you about a book called “My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands” by Chelsea Handler.
We have all heard of Chelsea Handler, the witty E! talk-show host. Handler was born in New Jersey and has toured the country doing stand-up. She made guest appearances on many shows, and was a star on Oxygen’s “Girls Behaving Badly.” This woman is funny, smart, quick on her toes, and always ready to give her opinion on any topic that is thrown her way. In this book, Handler turns the tables completely around and pokes fun at herself, as she lets her readers into her life through a extremely humorous, eccentric look at her sexual endeavors.
Handler starts the book off with a rather interesting story about how she once was coaxed by her sister to “walk in on” her parents engaging in some risky business, and then take a picture of what she saw. She talks about the horror of the night when she made her father so angry that she had to lock herself in the basement to avoid the scolding she knew she would receive. The book is even dedicated to her parents, “To my parents- Thank you for having me. Now look what I’ve done.”
“Now when I look back at that experience, I realize that maybe walking in on my parents in all their glory was what led me to embrace my own sexuality,” Handler said in the first chapter of her book.
The next 17 chapters consist of stories of her one-night stands, including titles such as “Skid Mark,” “My Little Nugget” and “Shrinky Dink.” Handler puts her life out there describing every detail from the moments leading up to the deed, to the unfortunate and sometimes uncomfortably hilarious moments the morning after.
A chapter called “The Cookie Monster” describes in detail the a great description of her roommate, who she lovingly refers to as Dumb Dumb. This girl is no typical run of the mill annoyance, she is the kind of roommate who would rather sit in her room and watch Thumbelina while eating a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream than go out to a club and pick up a guy. The first few sentences of the chapter describes her so well, “I USED TO live with a 28 year old virgin. That’s right. Not a Mormon, not a religious thing, just plain stupid.”
What I think the reader will find most fascinating about this book is that Chelsea Handler is not afraid to share her experiences with her readers. She is not afraid to say she had sex with a little person, or a man of a different race, and she is not afraid to tell it like it is, even if that means telling the whole world she woke up to find her panties with a large skid mark down the middle. Although sometimes vulgar in her writing, it is refreshing to read a book that is real and honest. This book will not only give provide a break from a difficult semester, but it is definitely a must read.