I like to think of myself as an unconventional type of girl. I enjoy dancing to the beat of a different drum undoubtedly. No matter how unconventional I may be, I am still a sucker for romantic junk, and so is just about every other girl. So here’s my message for the boys out there: It doesn’t matter what she says because deep down she really does care about that gushy stuff.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to female friends tell me that they don’t need a man to carry her bags at the mall or open the door for her, blah blah blah. I completely understand the “I am a modern, independent woman and am just fine with or without you” mentality. I think it is a wonderful thing to have such a strong sense of independence. I think it’s healthy, in fact. I don’t think it’s normal to need a guy to compliment the way a girl looks. I don’t think it’s normal to need anything from a guy.
However, as a girl, I may not need a guy to do something nice for me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want a guy to do something nice for me. It isn’t a matter of what is being done, but the fact that some guy wanted to do it for me. The thought really does count here. It’s the stupid, romantic, gushy little things that really add up and make a difference in a relationship.
When there is a guy who I really like, and want to impress, I like to bake for him. I’ll bake brownies, cupcakes, cookies, pies, or whatever else as a way to show him that he was on my mind and I really do care for him. I want him to know that I care without me having to verbalize it. I want to make him smile. It’s something so simple as making a pie that can mean so much.
I think secretly, most girls want guys to do the same thing. We don’t want to ask guys to do cute, romantic things for us. We want guys to choose to do it on their own. It isn’t that we need a guy to do something to show us that he cares, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s still sweet and will make us smile.
However, we do live in a culture that strives for equality across gender lines and women before us worked hard to get us to where we are today. So here’s the trick guys: If she opens the door for you, say “ladies first,” and then wait. If she insists that you go in, then go. Knowing that you wanted to be polite but you still respect her strength as a woman promotes the perfect balance between the two.
It’s all about chivalry. We just want the men in our lives to be brave, honorable, gentlemen. Being chivalrous doesn’t make you a sissy. It doesn’t mean that you go to ballets or stupid junk like that. Being a little chivalrous every so often is just a little way to show that you care. Sometimes, it is hard to verbalize how you feel, and it doesn’t matter how many times a girl says that it’s stupid or gushy or unnecessary. Regardless, it’s still sweet and it will always make her smile.
We, as girls, want to do nice things for boys, but we want boys to do nice things too. I think that this reciprocation is missing in a lot of relationships today. I also believe that it is really important. My parents have been married for almost 20 years, and they both still do this romantic junk. I think it’s cute, and I only want everyone else in the world to be as happy as my parents. So let’s bring chivalry back.