Theodore R. Griffiths
Staff Writer

When I think of the word conservative, I immediately think of a person with a firm hold on their traditions that is averse to change (most likely because that is the actual definition). Unfortunately for American conservatives, that poses quite the problem. Tradition in this country tells us to enslave Africans, relegate women to a place in the kitchen, and give employers complete power over their employees. I’m not sure if modern Republicans understand what they imply by calling themselves “conservatives.”
At least that is what I thought before I awoke from my intellectual coma and stumbled upon the hundreds of offensive headlines pertaining to conservatives and their blatant racism and sexism over the past few years.
Conservatives get a lot of things wrong. Their stance on African Americans seems to insinuate that they think the “black” population (as they call them) are the only people in this country receiving welfare.
Rick Santorum proved this point in early 2012 at a campaign stop in Iowa when he said, “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money; I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money.” Keep in mind that only 9% of welfare recipients in Iowa are African American. Now let that sink in for a minute, I’ll wait.
vote_whiteFeeling better yet? Well how about this one: Again in 2012 (I guess that was the racist coming out party for Republicans; I can only assume it was fabulous), the chief federal judge of Montana, Richard Cebull, sent out an e-mail to his friends that insinuated that Barack Obama’s mother had sex with animals. It went like this:
“A little boy said to his mother; ‘Mommy, how come I’m black and you’re white?’ His mother replied, ‘Don’t even go there Barack! From what I can remember about that party, you’re lucky you don’t bark!”
There is obviously nothing funnier in the God-fearing, gun-loving world of Republicans than accusing Obama’s mother of bestiality. I wonder if Michael Richards wrote that one.
But wait, I’m not done yet! At the Republican National Convention last year, two conservative attendants began throwing nuts at an African American CNN camerawoman while shouting, “This is how we feed animals.” This shows that the problem is not only with the politicians, but with the undereducated Bible-bashers who worship their politicians because they claim to worship a man named Jesus. It is easy to control simplistic people with simplistic principles.
I have one more example, just to prove that the men are not the only ones getting in on the conservative shepherd’s pie of hate and fear in the good old red, white, and blue.
Inge Marlor, an Arkansas Tea Party Leader (that title should already tell you what comes next), used this joke in her speeches throughout 2012 before being condemned by the Tea Party as a whole:
“A black kid asks his mom, ‘Mama what’s a democracy?’
“Well, son, that be when white folks work every day so us po’ folks can get all our benefits.’
“But mama, don’t the white folk get mad about that?’
“They sho do, son. They sho do. And that’s called racism.”
First, the face of welfare seems to be African Americans, yet Caucasians and African Americans are within 1% of each other in the most recent welfare statistics, with African American use of welfare falling over the last 9 years and Caucasian’s use stagnant at around 31%.
Second, how are any of these conservatives allowed to speak in public places? Pollution of the mind is a dangerous thing, and we have sewage leaking from each of these close-minded, open-mouthed “politicians.”
These “politicians” must be viewed as entertainers, because not one of them has uttered a factual statement when it comes to race. Taking them seriously would be like believing someone when they told you that a person who cut state school funding drastically and showed his support for a child rapist at Penn State would be the commencement speaker at the Millersville University graduation ceremony.
My point through this glorified rant is this: Straying from tradition is a great thing. It is the only way to move past the mistakes this country has made since its inception. From slaughtering Native Americans to enslaving African Americans to creating an entire political party that fears a book full of adult fairy tales. We have made a lot of mistakes; can we agree to move on?