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Black Friday madness

Christian Harding
Staff Writer

Every year immediately following Thanksgiving, millions of people across the nation come together to actively participate in what is widely considered to be the most important – or at least most ambitiously celebrated – day of the entire final quarter of the year: and no, it isn’t Christmas or New Years Eve… it’s Black Friday.
Of course, everyone already knows what Black Friday is. It’s that wonderful time of year where some of the most deranged and sociopathic American citizens gather at their local Wal-Mart or closest mall and create a large mob of anger and frustration in pursuit of owning latest brand new gaming system or whatever, among dozens of other potential incentives to wait in line outside department stores for hours on end.
It’s the same old thing every year; people lose their minds over the possibility of things like saving 30% off the newest smart phone, or the biggest television, when they could really save 100% of their money if they didn’t buy it in the first place. But if they really want to go shopping and buy things cheaper than the proposed retail price, there’s this really interesting place called “the internet,” where you can have virtually any product you want during anytime of the year, and it’s just a few button clicks away. And while I’ve certainly derided the internet (and most forms of technology) in the past for turning people into lazy, convenience obsessed slobs, I think in this case, its usage is extremely warranted.
People shop at Target on Thanksgiving Day in Burbank, CaliforniaDon’t get me wrong, I’m not necessarily attacking consumerism itself or the desire for material possessions in general. I like having nice things as much as the next guy (well… almost as much, anyway). Hell, the desires of people wanting more things are what make the economy go around. But the one thing that I dislike the most about all this nonsense (aside from how it brings out worst in people for most annoyingly trivial reasons) is how some people think that’s what matters more than anything else.
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that saving half off a brand new X-Box One is a pretty good deal. But think about it, is it really so important that it’s worth spending half your Thanksgiving waiting in line in front of the nearest mall? Or even worth trampling the greeter at Wal-Mart just to get it? I seriously doubt it.
So enjoy your holiday, upcoming Black Friday shoppers. On this particular incarnation of it, I’ll be safely relaxing in the comfort of my own home, miles away from all the madness and mobs of obsessed shoppers. Stay safe, and try not to trample too many people on your way to buying a third pillow pet.